...Have Broken Relationships

Your heart was not created to endure love that starts and then ends. We were not created for broken relationships. And yet, here we are. Ever since the Garden when the first relationship was severed: the Creator and the created.

We’ve likely all been subject to relationships that end. I don’t just mean relationships that have been broken from divorce or death. Friendships end too, whether dissipated or deliberate.

As I write this, I will openly admit that my heart is broken. Not from a breakup. But because I am in a season of life where things are changing. Rapidly. My life looks new every day and with that comes a change in the cast of characters involved.

Some people have slowly become shadows along with the memories of them.  I understand that often things fade out to make room for new growth but I have to say, growing pains hurt.

After evaluating some changes in friendships, I sat wondering why it even mattered to me. There are many people who love me, call me, snapchat me, hang out with me. Yet, my heart focuses on those that no longer do. I felt like an idiot even wasting my time thinking about it. Why?

There are two things you must know about me that may shed some light:

1) I am a good friend.

Partially because I am intentional and caring but mostly because I wedge myself into people’s lives. It is not in my nature to take “no” for an answer. Therefore, if I think you’re worthwhile, I will pursue you as a friend, in the least stalkerish way possible.

2) I am a zealot. 

Whether in love or in hate, I do all things with zeal. I don’t ever do things in the middle. If I love you, I freaking love you. If I see something wrong, I will be the person to write a strongly worded letter or disavow a brand name.  

Basically, I’m a Hufflepuff: loyal and just.

As fierce as I pretend to be, I am fragile.

I don’t want loss to jade me; to make me lose my zeal or tenderness.

I have a wonderful husband. Almost every night before bed he whispers “Your God and your husband will never leave you.” I don’t say this to make you throw up from romantic gush but to ask, why is that even significant? It’s significant because we live in a world where people leave. Not out of spite or cruelty, but out of the nature of our brokenness. This is why the Gospel story is so impactful. It tells of a Love that Pursues and then a Love that Stays. Jesus Christ drew near and then endured. It’s something I highlight when telling people about Jesus because it’s countercultural.

So in the midst of our hurting one another, we are made holy. “…All the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross.” Colossians 1:20 (MSG)

As I stated to a dear friend on a long drive yesterday, there’s no unmessy way for relationships to end. In short, because it’s not how we were designed. 

If you relate, I pray that you seek healing. Whether it be from a person you’ve lost a relationship with or just with the Lord – heal. Cease striving. Move on. But, by all means, allow yourself to hurt and feel and know that you are not silly or dumb or childish for feeling like you’re holding onto people that aren’t holding onto you.