...Date

As dating was the trigger subject in the "still be holy" concept, I feel it's an appropriate spring-board.

Yes, the Christian dating scene has been beaten to death. But that's my point: it's been beaten...to death. Like there's not even whimpering breath left in it.

I find that Christian culture has largely demonized dating.

Growing up, my dad made me read books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye and I Gave Dating a Chance (whose book description actually calls "dating" a "dirty word"). So my 15-year-old self thought this stringent dating view was simply because I was too young. But now, 8 years later, I still feel oppressive judgement in dating. As if people are saying "No no, you don't want that."

It's as though somewhere along the road, someone told me dating makes someone's heart weak or is only reserved for those who don't know how to be alone.

One day, I literally quoted to a friend "Sometimes I think I want to be in a relationship but then I realize I'm too busy being awesome." I wasn't even directly quoting Barney Stinson. Where did I get that idea? That somehow dating and not-being-awesome were linked?

Perhaps it's a result of the pressure of already-married friends. Perhaps it's my incredibly low percentage of fellow Christian friends who are actually dating; skipping right from "talking" to "WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW". More likely, it has to do with the lack of scripture that points to courting in our vastly different cultures. 

Regardless, my feelings on the subject came to a head during a phone conversation with my best friend. I found myself shyly telling her how nice it would be to go on a date. I expressed that I "selfishly wanted someone to take interest in me." I could actually hear her roll her eyes as she said, "You know you're not crazy, right? You're 23 - of course that's a natural desire for you to want to date."

As I exhaled, I felt my 3-dateless-years (yeah, 3) release with the carbon dioxide. "I can still trust that the Lord will provide AND desire to go to dinner and movie with a nice guy! Whoa!"

I am not negating His promises by wanting to date, nor disobeying.  I am not sacrificing closeness with the Lord by opening up to a dating relationship.  I am not rushing God's timing by actively choosing to date.

Matters of the heart are delicate - I get that. I am not suggesting that we singles should be reckless.  Yes, these things come with time. There's no need to hurry. But in the mean time, it's a nice reminder that we were created for relationships, not even just romantic ones. We are wired to love and to desire love.

Perhaps it will be another 3 years before I go on another date. And that's fine. As long as I can rest in the fact that I'm normal for wanting to date. And so are you.